I said, “I do,” at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday morning on a beach on Oahu, Hawaii, surrounded by 12 family members and friends, and roughly 10 random beachgoers who stopped to watch.

It might seem unconventional to some, but it was my version of perfection.

Through over a year of dating, my then-boyfriend and I would dream about running off to a beach in Hawaii and exchanging vows, just the two of us. But when the ring was on my finger, that dream was shoved aside, and we both assumed we would have a traditional wedding in the church my parents attended with a reception and family and the whole shebang.

Fast-forward one year, and there were still zero wedding plans and not even a date set. I just wanted to be married and didn’t have any enthusiasm for a big wedding or the expense that came with it. All I cared about was a dress and a honeymoon.

Eventually, we started talking about a little ceremony in Hawaii again. However, we knew that we couldn’t get married without a few family members. We needed a compromise and found it with a destination wedding on a beach on Oahu.

The planning process and a few bumps in the road

Once the decision was made to have an intimate wedding in Hawaii, I assumed I would manage all the wedding details myself. However, this proved to be a big mess for a small event. Without the ability to meet vendors face-to-face, it was difficult to make decisions or really know the people we were working with. I also didn’t want to spend a lot of money on the event, but the higher cost of living in Hawaii and the popularity of island weddings meant that even a basic wedding could cost a fortune. Time zone and schedule differences added another layer of challenge, and I was soon frustrated with trying to communicate across the miles.

What worked for us was selecting a wedding coordinator who offered a package deal with everything we needed included. Our coordinator provided our photography, videography, minister, décor, cake, and champagne, all for one price. During the planning phase, I needed to do very little other than make a few simple selections from a limited range of options the coordinator presented to me. It was perfect for a girl who wanted to be a wife but not a bride.

On our big day, I walked across the sandy beach in a beautiful wedding gown. With sand under my feet and the ocean breeze tossing my veil, our little wedding was a dream come to life. The minister did a fabulous job, the cake was yummy, and the photos are breathtaking. I couldn’t have asked for more, and best of all, I didn’t have to fuss, worry, get bogged down in details or overspend.

A bit of advice from someone who has been there

Looking back at my wedding always makes me smile. In the end, I learned a lot from the process:

• Keep it simple – In my memories, my simple wedding remains beautiful and elegant. After the wedding, the decorations get stuck in the box, guests toss the favors you agonized over, and you can’t remember the details that felt so important at the moment. Whether you wed in your hometown or across the globe, the marriage is what matters.

• Skip the DIY – I’ve always loved craft projects, and whipping up a few do-it-yourself items seemed like an excellent way to add personality to my wedding while also saving money. But DIY projects and destination weddings don’t mix well. You’ll have enough luggage to worry about without trying to pack your flowers or décor, so let the pros handle those details.

• Plan in advance – I set the date for my August wedding in February. While that was plenty of time for the basic planning I needed to do, it didn’t leave family and friends who wanted to attend much time to make arrangements. For me, a small destination wedding meant saving money over hosting a larger affair. But for my guests, it meant coming up with the money for a vacation they wouldn’t have taken otherwise. In retrospect, setting the date further out would have given everyone a chance to plan and save a bit more.

• Make peace with absent loved ones – While there were 12 guests at our wedding, there were countless other family members and friends who could not attend. A wedding away will always mean that there are fewer people in attendance than if you hosted the event at home. There are plenty of upsides to that, including spending less on food, drinks, favors, and space. However, in the moment, in can feel a bit sad to realize that a special person isn’t there to see you walk down the aisle. Before you start planning, be sure you can happily say, “I do,” without a crowd.

• Arrive in advance – We landed in Hawaii two full days prior to our wedding. This gave us just enough time to get our marriage license, meet our wedding coordinator, and select the specific location on the beach to exchange vows. We also had time to rest and relax so that we weren’t exhausted from travel on our big day.