The Dream

The lure of the beach, the ocean and the sun felt like the pull of a powerful magnet that took me out of my Midwest comfort zone and into paradise. Paradise called to me from an ad in a bridal magazine, and the thought of a less-expensive, destination-wedding with just the two of us felt right. My fiancé agreed.

A few phone calls and swipes of the credit card, and we reserved our destination wedding in Barbados. We ordered our passports and scheduled vacation time from work. All that was left to do was tell the family. Surprisingly, they understood, with the promise that they could throw us a big “reception” when we came home. Done deal!

Decisions, Decisions

Most couples have their honeymoon after they get married. What I didn’t realize when we scheduled the destination wedding was that we had to be in Barbados for seven days before we got married. Fortunately, my fiancé and I already lived together, so it wasn’t uncomfortable or against our morals, but having a honeymoon before a ceremony could have been a challenge.

The days before the wedding, we had to make decisions that usually take months. We met with the reverend, chose the location on the resort grounds, selected flowers, decided on our meal, determined the colors and style of the wedding cake and scheduled transportation to the partner-resort for my hair styling. Little did I know, this transportation was a water-taxi, so on the return trip, my hair expanded from the humidity!

Also, during the week, we had to find witnesses, as every marriage license needs those signatures. I was concerned since we were at an international resort, but fortunately, we befriended two American couples. One stood up for us and the other was kind enough to video our wedding. The resort supplied a photographer, but not a videographer.

So, did I want wedding photographs in traditional wedding attire, or did I want to go for the beach look? My fiancé wanted to wear a suit, so I decided to wear a wedding dress, but I had it shortened so it wouldn’t drag through the sand. I chose a hat instead of a veil. I also decided to wear heels for the ceremony — not sure what I was thinking!

The ceremony culminates with the exchanging of the rings, an important symbol of marriage. We brought both rings with us, and we checked the hotel safe on a daily basis to be sure that my 2.5-carat diamond ring and my husband’s one-of-a-kind wedding band were still there. That was a little stressful.

Time Travel

After all the decisions, planning and convincing the hotel’s landscapers that the small area overlooking the beach would be perfect for us, our wedding was simple and sweet. I did have a difficult time understanding the reverend’s heavy, island accent when asked to repeat my vows, but he made me laugh. I also felt like part of a large family that night as all those staying at the resort congratulated us.

We were easy to spot in our wedding attire, but I don’t know if I’d bring a wedding dress with me if I had the chance to do it over again. I would’ve embraced the beach atmosphere and worn a simple sundress without shoes, so my toes could wiggle in the sand. Plus, walking with those heels in the sand was an enormous balance challenge! I enjoyed having my wedding ring, but I’m not sure I would risk that if I did it over. If I did, I’d purchase an insurance policy on both rings before we traveled.

I also would schedule a longer honeymoon after the ceremony. I felt as if we just got married and then had to return to reality instead of lingering for a few days in the after-wedding bliss.

On Your Own

Many decisions go into planning a wedding, whether it’s a traditional church wedding or a destination ceremony. If you are a perfectionist and want to control every little detail, a destination wedding may not be for you. You are limited in your choice of location and menu, and you are responsible for finding witnesses, so start talking with other couples soon after you arrive.

Try to relax, and consider your surroundings when selecting the specifics for your ceremony. I’m not sure I’d carry my dress and hat through two different airports again just to have model-perfect photos. The words are more important, and you will have input on your vows, so discuss with your partner the points that are essential to your relationship.

When you picture your perfect wedding, think about the time of day. We chose a sunset wedding and the backdrop of the sun dropping into the ocean is a paradise only nature can create.